12042951_10153744389279736_9025235141231641832_nThe thing about overthinking is that knowing that you have a habit of overthinking only makes the decision-making process even more difficult. Whether you’re trying to figure out what to order at the restaurant, to go out or chill at home, submit a resignation letter, or ask for the divorce, the decision is hardly ever an easy one to make.

That’s because we want to make the right choice.

Simple choices like what to order or what shoes to buy is more easily resolved. Just pick. If you don’t like it, send the shit back. But what about more difficult decisions like leaving a good job. I’d worked nearly every industry out there in almost every pay scale out there. That last job was right up my alley in terms of what I do. I write and I teach writing. That’s what my job consisted of at my alma mater. I was paid good money with great benefits, but I wanted more. I wanted to take all I’d learned and implement it in my own business. Leave or stay? What about my new mortgage, car note and fat ass student loan debt? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can’t come back?

I went through that.

To tested positive for pregnancy at the most inconvenient time ever. Money wasn’t right. Timing wasn’t right, but it was a life in there. Plus, I’d already gotten an abortion before. And I got but so much time to make up my mind. What do I do? I’ve been there. Leaving your partner, your best friend, of seven years. He’s a “good man,” and from the outside looking in, no “real” transgression took place. You just want more. You’ve grown and your definition of what’s ideal has evolved. Do you leave or stay? What about the kids? What if ain’t nothing better out there? What if he finds someone else and it’s too late to come back?

I’m going through that right now.

*Picks up scissors and cuts straight to the chase*

When it comes to choosing, you just have to trust and choose. For the more simple decisions like what to order or wear, stop stressing yourself out unnecessarily and remember that you got options (i.e. send it back or just say no). For the heavier decisions, bring Spirit in the picture.


Making the decision can be really hard because we’re fluctuating between the head and the heart. End that conversation and go with Spirit. That’s the still part of you that gives you that feeling of knowing. It doesn’t budge or waver, it’s just there and you know.

The mind makes it tricky because it’s busy and loud. Spirit will tell you to go after what’s yours. Claim it, baby. Spread your wings and fly. Just when you’ve straightened your posture to jump, the mind looks down (or looks back) and asks what if.

The best way to hush the mind and tune into some God-say is to sit down for what I call a silent session with Spirit. It’s also known as meditation. One of my favorite meditations for clarity is by first placing your hands over your womb and declaring everything you want. When you have nothing else to say, move your hands to my navel and declare everything you will do. It can be about one particular thing or whatever comes to mind. Then place your hands over your heart and list everything you love. These are your prayers. And when finished, close your eyes and listen.


Once you’ve heard, now it’s time to do. That’s the hard part because it requires that you trust yourself. True, you can’t trust life. Ain’t no telling what will happen, but you can trust yourself because in spite of everything that has happened in your life, you’re still here.

Also trust that there’s no such thing as a wrong choice. Each decision comes with its own consequences, yeah, but neither choice will cause you to lose. The universe ain’t set up like that. Plus, if your decision is based on your inner wisdom, then you’re already steps ahead. And even when it doesn’t feel like it or look it, you have to trust that it is. You’ve done the work, now sustain the faith.

 If this post resonated with you, then you’re who I wrote my new book for. Women Who Ain’t Afraid to Curse When Communicating with God is a 31-day self-study guide to spiritual liberation. Each page is filled with dialogue that both heals and liberates by opening your heart to what Spirit has to say to you, and through you. Feeling it? Get yours here.

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